Even My Cat Has Its Own Page

I really wanted to give blogcritics first dibs on this, but they are dragging their feet on getting this posted and I’m going on vacation tomorrow, so its going here first. Here’s the article I’ve promised for weeks now, The Best Episodes of Supernatural. This should spark some debate.

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Here we go. I’m placing my head on the proverbial chopping block and waiting with defiance for the guillotine to fall. In other words, I’ve made my “Best Episodes of Supernatural” list, and I’m ready for the cavalcade of dissent.

In pouring exhaustively through the remaining 54 episodes that didn’t make my worst list, I found seven met my lofty standards. My judgment involved looking at scripts that delivered all the perfect elements needed for Jensen and Jared to take their craft to new heights, a story with a blueprint that let the entire crew go beyond their wildest imaginations, and a plot that sucked us in from the beginning, holding on tight until the very last shot, leaving us tattered and screaming for more. Picking the seven was easy. Ranking them was impossible.

While I still sob profusely over Sam dying in Dean’s arms, “All Hell Breaks Loose” doesn’t make the cut because it’s uneven in its entirety. While “Faith” is an outstanding tear jerker, parts of the episode didn’t live up, like the terrible villain Sue-Ann Le Grange. The pilot won’t be on this list either, because as outstanding as it is, it’s meant to introduce a premise. The show has come too far since then.

Now that the ground rules are in place, the list can begin, in order of best to the absolute greatest.

#7 - Nightshifter – Season Two

Why? This episode is storytelling at its finest. We’re sucked in from the word go, with the cut into the normal opening by a live news story, as the camera zooms into none other than Dean Winchester delivering a hostage in a bank standoff. Yep, that grabs my attention!

Action episodes often have pacing issues, but not this one. It builds up slowly, with each scene adding to the tension of an out of control hostage situation involving an unhinged gunman, a phantom shapeshifter, the trigger happy SWAT team, the FBI, and Sam and Dean caught right in the middle. We are left guessing the entire time until it all comes together with the best ending of the series.

Ron, in some great guest casting, is a lovable nut job who knows something evil is lurking, but no one will listen, so he takes matters into his own hands. He and Dean form a great bond, and we share his excitement when he finds out he’s actually right, minus the incorrect conclusion about the “Mandroid”. Also involved is the fantastic Agent Henriksen, the tough FBI agent determined to capture the lawless Winchester brothers (great Bonnie and Clyde reference). Henriksen’s phone conversation with Dean, in which he insults John Winchester, is a brilliant back and forth montage in which Dean’s voice is holding firm, but his edges are cracking through his facial expressions. That exemplified the fantastic directing, editing, writing, and of course acting that dominated this episode.

The Standout Moment: The ending. It also tops the best use of classic rock in the series too. With the slow opening of Styx’s “Renegade” in the background, two swat team members close in on the Impala in the garage. We soon learn it’s Sam and Dean, who’ve escaped the bank, and during the beats of the song our very stunned heroes take in the gravity of what just happened. Dean summarizes it best. “We are so screwed.” Cue Tommy Shaw’s yell, and we have a winner as the Impala peels away. Best…editing…ever.

#6 - Devil’s Trap – Season One

Why? Season one had many rough spots, but by this episode it clearly found its footing. As a season finale it didn’t disappoint, starting where “Salvation” left off, but with ten times the drama. Dean barely holds everything together as Sam and John are ready for self-sacrifice, and does everything in his power to deliver the message sacrifice isn’t an option. In the end, Sam gets the message, leading to a family dilemma like none other.

Jensen is phenomenal in this episode, starting with what is still the greatest of all exorcisms and the introduction of the best supporting character ever, Bobby Singer. Every scene involves loads of intensity, raw emotion, and somehow works a lot of plot into 40 minutes, not to mention a cliffhanger (the Impala!) that all but assured this show’s spot in the new CW lineup.

The Standout Moment: In the cabin, when Dean figures out John is possessed. When the clue is daddy says he’s proud of him and not mad, it’s heartbreaking to see Dean pull a gun instead of believe it’s real. John asks Sam to believe him, but Sam firmly stands behind Dean, trusting his brother completely. That’s a message sent several times throughout the series; Dean is the only person Sam believes in. That scene right there proved Sam’s point from the pilot, they aren’t the Bradys.

#5 - A Very Supernatural Christmas – Season Three

Why? This is where I should have a five way tie for first place. This episode was so good, so memorable, that for it not to be higher tells us how much this show has blessed us with greatness. This episode falls here by default because the episodes above it have greater character defining moments.

This is one of the best written episodes of the series. An exhaustive amount of detail goes into creating the Anti-Christmas, and for some reason, over the top works in its favor. Considering the outrageous villains, the decked out sets, the carefully constructed scenes and camera work that brings out some pretty vivid images, a simple premise is what sells us the most. It’s Dean’s last year, and he wants a Christmas celebration with Sam, who’s still too traumatized by empty Christmases past. Watching Sam set aside his gloominess and honor his brother’s dying wish, that five minutes captures the Christmas spirit way better than any of those entire crappy Hallmark specials that air every year.

The Standout Moment: There are so many, and while the touching Winchester Christmas gift exchange at the end comes close, I’ve given the prize to the entire scene of the Pagan Gods and their perky delivery of extreme torture. That scene is very memorable, contains the best dialogue, features the best villains of the series, and somehow makes my spine tinge from both extreme horror and laughter. It’s demented, and we love it.

#4 - Born Under A Bad Sign – Season Two

Why? Duh, evil Sam. Need I say more? This episode is a huge turning point in the series. Jared and Jensen have been great together since day one, but apart, Jensen has clearly been the standout actor, that is until this episode. Jared finally reaches Jensen’s level, taking a page from his co-star’s rule book on facial acting. When one of them is at their best it’s a treat, but when both of them get to excel, it’s a fan’s Holy Grail.

The angst is off the Richter scale from the very beginning, with a frantic Dean on the phone, unable to find Sam. When he does find him, bloody in a motel room, that kicks off the epic struggle depicting what happens when brother is pitted against brother. Jared gets to take Sam outside his box with spectacular results, giving us jaw dropping, blood curdling yet delicious scenes, especially the near sexual assault of Jo Harvelle, the teasing over the real story behind Jo’s dad and John, and the malevolent grin after he thinks he’s killed his own brother. Who didn’t love possessed Sam kicking the crap out of Dean after the failed exorcism?

Jensen had a lot of great material to work with too. Dean’s worry over saving Sam yet hatred for the demon deliver plenty of conflicting emotions and rough edges that only Jensen can pull off. These two play out their conflicts with the most explosive of results, fantastic lines and all (you wouldn’t want to bruise this fine packaging).

The Standout Moment: The scene in the motel room, after they find out Sam killed Steve Wandell. A despondent Sam tries to use those “dewy eyes” and a crushed heart to tearfully convince his brother he must be killed. He even goes as far as to put the pistol into Dean’s hand, taking in a deep whimper while waiting for his doom. Dean, finally forced into the “killing Sam” dilemma, takes a long reflection and decides he can’t do it. “I’d rather die.” Even if the scene ended there, I’d still be stunned. But for Sam to pick up the pistol, making it look like he’s going to kill himself, and instead turns around with evil glare and whacks Dean in the head, all of a sudden we have a whole new drama!

#3 - No Rest For The Wicked – Season Three

Why? Dean died and went to hell, of course. The entire season built up to that one moment, leaving us guessing about to Dean’s fate up to the very end, and Kripke didn’t cop out. The end result was every bit as gut-wrenching and tragic as we imagined. No, it went beyond that.

Ah, but I’m judging a whole episode here. Unlike season two’s uneven finale, this is angst ridden perfection from beginning to end. From the opening shot of hellhounds chasing Dean, we get an intense hour of Sam and Dean barely holding it together as time runs down. Sam is especially desperate and willing to do anything, but Dean stops him from crossing the line and chooses to go down fighting. Watching the fear in their eyes for the entire episode, their knowledge that the outcome is likely going to be bloody, their absolute heartbreak over having to live without each other, well, I’m still a mess. Everything is on the line, and both Jensen and Jared hit new acting heights conveying how vital the outcome is.

The Standout Moment: The last ten minutes. There’s hope as they take refuge from the hounds, but Ruby is really Lilith, and Dean is done for. The hounds in graphic, horrific fashion maul Dean to death and wow did the props crew go all out with the squirting blood. Sam can only watch and scream, helpless as the final blow is delivered. Lilith goes for Sam next but no, she can’t harm him. He’s immune! Fantastic acting and directing collide as the camera pans upward to Sam’s devastated face when he sees his dead brother on the floor, and never cuts away as he kneels down to cradle Dean and weeps. No one does crying better than Jared. But wait, another pan through Dean’s vacant eye shows him chained in Hell. Psych! Happy summer hiatus everyone.

#2 – What Is and What Should Never Be – Season Two

Why? The question should be, why isn’t this number one? Not enough can be said of the greatness of this episode, and it’s all because of Jensen. The script is written in such a way where it isn’t rich in dialogue but high on emotion, so plenty of latitude is given for nonverbal, deeply poignant reaction shots and Jensen easily delivers the best acting of the series. No, he even gives Hugh Laurie a run for his money.

My heart is crushed by the end, because poor Dean finally has everything he’s ever dreamed of, and has to let it go. But that wasn’t all. He and Sam have a deeply fractured relationship, and everyone (except Carmen) sees him as a deadbeat, but he’s happy anyway because his mom is alive and Sam has Jess. We learn a lot about Dean Winchester and his need for family, and we love him eight hundred times more.

The Standout Moment: Aside from every bit of Dean reacting (with perfection) to the life he always wanted? The critic in me says the scene at John Winchester’s grave. Dean is the only one speaking, and boy, does he rip our hearts to shreds. This is the most honest, the most vulnerable, the most open we ever seen Dean, and I believe those tears are real. My personal favorite scene though is the pure, unadulterated joy that Dean experiences in mowing that Technicolor lawn, complete with thick green grass, brilliant flowers, and even garden gnomes! He waves at the neighbor with a cheery hello, and gets a skeptical “are you drunk” wave in return. It’s the funny and sad that makes this show great.

#1 - Mystery Spot – Season Three

Why? I’m going to get a lot of crap for this choice, but I stand by it with deep resolve. There’s only one reason why this is number one. It’s not only the best written episode of the series, it’s one of the best written episodes I’ve ever seen on television. Why? Exposing the dark inner layers of Sam Winchester is already daunting task, but to do so with a Groundhog Day premise that’s been done many times before but manages here to present something wildly different, its a work of genius. Every bit of this episode goes far beyond anything this show has given us before.

For such a difficult, fragmented plot, with lots of twists and turns, and plenty of very funny and very tragic moments, the directing has to be flawless. Given the fact it’s Kim Manners, he delivers. The special effects are stellar, for it takes some huge creativity by everyone to realistically show Dean meeting his end in a number of gruesome and even cartoonish ways. The sets again were over the top goodness, for the Mystery Spot, the diner, and pink flamingo motel room are tacky personified. Even the choice of music, torturing poor Sam every morning with Asia’s “The Heat of The Moment” is delightfully treacherous.

This episode goes far beyond the character examination it was tasked. It’s extraordinarily inventive, very fast paced, loaded with crisp dialogue and gives us a number of repeatable elements that are unique enough to where it never gets old. Who thought catching hot sauce over and over again could be so entertaining? The Trickster’s presence is the only way this outrageous time loop could be plausible, and he makes his repeat appearance as a villain this time far more riveting.

This is easily Jared’s best performance to date, and we are left very impressed with how far he’s come. Each day Sam’s anxiety builds to painful levels, and after over hundred of days of watching his brother die it all takes a disturbing toll. When Sam finally has to live without Dean, he’s not a grieving or sorrowful brother, he’s a sociopathic killer who’s lost all his humanity while hell bent on revenge. In other words, it’s the resurrection of John Winchester. That Sam is more frightening than any of the monsters on this show.

The Standout Moment: I want to say every single scene, but I’ll go with the final one. Sam wakes up to find its Wednesday, and after six long months, Dean is alive and well. Sam’s not either excited or relieved, just broken. He gets up and swallows Dean in a huge hug. “How many Tuesdays did you have?” “Enough.” As they pack and leave the motel room, Sam is clearly devastated, for Dean might be back, but for how long? He knows life without him can still happen, and he can still lose himself as a result. His final bleary eyed gaze into the motel room before turning out the light says it all, all is not well. This is easily one of the most heart crushing endings in this show (behind the Sam dying and Dean dying parts).

Honorable Mention (Only available on this blog site): In My Time of Dying - Season Two

I love this episode, but in trying to figure out why it didn’t measure up to the seven listed here, I would say that the pacing wasn’t as even. The drama was there, the acting was incredible, but somewhere in between John summoning yellow eyes and Dean waking up, it fell flat. The end picked back up again, but that one break was enough to push it back behind the others. Also, I didn’t feel enough true angst and heartbreak from Jared, not like “Mystery Spot” and “No Rest For The Wicked". Season three really set the bar high.

That’s my two cents, and thank you all for bearing this moment of self indulgence. Fire away, and let your opinion be heard. Tell me how full of it I am. Or tell me what episodes I missed and why. Or tell me I’m right. Anything to get through the hiatus (still sobbing!).

Warning, this review is so long, I had to post it in two installments on blogcritics. Here I’m posting it as one review. I loved this episode so much, I couldn’t help it. Please forgive my self-indulgence, and enjoy the review!

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It’s Christmas in July! What a better way to celebrate than to re-experience for only the second time the twisted, gory, heart-wrenching, fast-paced, cynical, and downright brilliant version of Christmas the Supernatural way. Kripke and Co. are a bunch of sick bastards, and we love them for it.

I tried in an exhaustive number of ways to get this review down to a reasonable length, but this episode contained an overwhelming attention to detail, and it’s impossible to overlook most of these elements that made up one of the most outstanding episodes of the series. It went all out, beyond the usual great writing and acting, giving us several unique camera shots, extreme set decoration, a brilliant cast of supporting characters, loads of eye catching background details, and even a clever cover story as to why Ypsilanti Michigan was looking so lush in December.

The writer of this episode, Jeremy Carver, gives us his first solo script here, and I must wonder how many Andy Williams Christmas specials he’s seen in his lifetime (I assume enough to drive him crazy). As with his other masterpiece, “Mystery Spot”, this script is very diverse, offering snappy and outrageous (in a good way) dialogue, a multitude of jabs at the history of Christmas culture, a progression of scenes going at a wild yet seamless pace that blended laugh out loud moments, powerful emotional ones and very disturbing ones, and a compelling story involving Pagan lore that sucked us in from beginning to end. Plus, it ruined Christmas. What could be better?

The directing on this episode is phenomenal as well, this time coming from J. Miller Tobin. He’s directed many TV shows, and this is his second time for Supernatural. Considering his first episode was the stellar “Born Under A Bad Sign”, he’s got an excellent track record with this show. What he did with this episode was nothing short of incredible.

I knew we were getting an exceptional program the second the old CBS intro “A Special Presentation” popped on the screen. That intro as a kid always let me know that something cool like Rudolph was coming on, causing me to squeal with glee. That’s exactly what I did here too. The show didn’t waste anytime going for the shock value either, starting as if we were watching a cheesy Hallmark Holiday special. The living room décor took a page straight out of the Christmas edition of Martha Stewart Living, a pleasant flute played in the background the sweet sounds of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”, and cubby cheeked little boy greeted his Grandpa with glee, for its Christmas Eve. I can picture the director telling these two “ham it up as much as possible,” and boy did they run with it.

This All-American kid, now decked out in his reindeer jammies, peeks through the wooden rail of the stairs to see “Santa” putting presents under the tree, reacting with wide eyes and adorable lit up face. He gets very excited by the thump on the roof, but “Santa”, aka grandpa, knows that wasn’t good. Some soot filters down from the chimney, and we assume from the creepy music playing this will be grandpa’s last Christmas. Judging by his chilling screams, being yanked up the chimney hurts. Then his boot falls to the floor. With blood on it. All while the boy watches. At least grandpa gave his grandson a Christmas he’ll never forget.

Cue the special title card, a decked out “A Very Supernatural Christmas.” Major kudos to the graphics designer on that one. That right there gave us a hint as to how much effort went into this episode.

It’s next Christmas, in balmy Michigan, and Sam and Dean talk with a traumatized wife and daughter because dad is missing. Considering Sam found a tooth in the chimney, chances are he’s reindeer food. By the way, Sam and Dean in suits make for the best Christmas present ever. They conclude dad couldn’t have fit up the chimney in one piece, which is pretty accurate considering we saw proof of that.

Here’s a prime example of what happens when great set decoration and directing collide. Sam’s researching in this week’s motel room, sitting on a dated forest green leather couch when Dean comes in, exposing the red leather retro table and chairs, ugly green curtains and loud yellow floral wallpaper. A standard room so far, right? After Sam and Dean exchange some theories, we get the full money shot, Dean standing in front of a hokey Thomas Kinkade mural covering the entire opposite wall, instantly throwing him into the center of a cozy holiday picture. I laughed hard and froze the frame, partly because it’s the most absurd scene you’ll ever see Dean Winchester in, and partly because Jared Padalecki has a film coming out someday where he plays Thomas Kinkade in a Christmas movie. Someone had way too much fun setting this up, and we all win.

The best idea Sam can come up with is evil Santa. Dean thinks the idea is crazy and reminds Sam there is no Santa, which opens up a nice gaping wound. “I know, you’re the one who told me in the first place.” Ouch! Nicely played Jared, for the resentment felt very real.

Dean finds out the previous victims visited Santa’s village, and now I wonder if Jeremy Carver’s warped childhood involved too many family visits to tacky tourist traps. Santa’s Village is as awful as we imagined, with the weathered and in desperate need of paint entrance topped with an evil looking Santa, wooden buildings that looked like rotting shacks instead of toy workshops, the unenthusiastic elf and guy in reindeer suit standing among the tacky wooden cutouts of a manger scene that gets banned by most neighborhood associations nowadays, and ugly reindeer made of logs that Amish places try to sell at a premium. The set designers must have had every one of their Christmas fantasies, real and surreal, come true.

Dean uses this bizarre backdrop to suggest that he and Sam have Christmas this year. Sam hates the idea, claiming their Christmases weren’t exactly loaded with “Hallmark memories.” Whose is? My memories of Christmas include being bored stiff with my new toys after an hour and nothing but crap on TV, all while the adults broke into the egg nog early. These were the days before the Internet, DVD’s or even VHS, and my video game choices were Pong. At least when I get drunk at Christmas now, my kids have the GameCube.

Somehow a goofy reindeer triggers a memory for Sam, him and Dean in a motel in Broken Bow, Nebraska in 1991. The sign says the Cicero Pines Motel. Isn’t that the exact same sign from “The Kids Are Alright?” There aren’t many pine trees in Nebraska either. This eight year old Sam is a drastic improvement the one in “Something Wicked”, but thankfully we get the same Dean. Sam’s wrapping a gift with the comics page that Uncle Bobby gave him to give to John. The point is clearly coming across that these boys have nothing, for not even a Christmas tree can be found.

How long did Dean think he could avoid Sam’s questions? I have a six year old who leaves nothing alone. Young Sam is uncanny with every mannerism, down to the puppy dog eyes and sorrowful glare. The scene cuts to adult Sam with the exact look of despair, and it’s remarkable how they pulled that off. We honestly believe it’s the same person just years later. Now the editors get the applause.

Sam and Dean see gross Santa acting shady with children complete with dirty wig and beard, a limp, and smelling like either candy or ripple. They have their anti-Claus. Instead of moving on with the investigation, the rollercoaster plotting takes us elsewhere, blowing the whole expositional formula to smithereens in a great way. A cheery elf interrupts them, asking if they want to escort their child to Santa. Cue the “Dean throwing Sam in a humiliating spot” scenario, which usually stretches Jensen and Jared into natural goofball territory and often with great results. Dean tells her it’s a lifelong dream of Sam’s to sit on Santa’s lap, and Sam fails big time in getting out of the lie by saying they just want to watch. Her face sours and she gives the appropriate “ewww”, and once again we have a bit that will be often brought up in “funniest moments” discussions. Add perverts to the list of stereotypes.

Sam and Dean stalk evil Santa outside his trailer, and there’s a classic car sighting! From what I can tell given the back only angle, it’s a mid 1970’s Cadillac Eldorado, and of course, it’s in red. It’s Santa’s muscle car sleigh! Dean again brings up the Christmas thing and Sam has another nickname to add to his growing list, “the boy who hates Christmas.” I’m going to have to do a separate list someday of all the nicknames these two have thrown at each other. They hear screaming coming from the trailer, and go in with guns pulled. The irony of having to blow away Santa isn’t lost on Sam, but Santa is nothing more than a degenerate porn addict with a huge bong and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red. Why not pretend to be carolers? It might have worked if they actually remembered the words to “Silent Night”. Sam and Dean hopelessly fumble through the song while drunk and stoned Santa laughs at them. There’s a memory to record in the Christmas scrapbook.

The episode takes another complete shift and goes back to very creepy, and again, it’s done to the maximum. On comes another ideal holiday home, and this time our innocent child is a sweet, curly haired boy who’s eager to great Santa. Except it isn’t Santa, its some dude in a bloody red leather suit who goes upstairs, knocks out mom and drags dad down in his sack. The bewildered boy, with those huge dark eyes, watches scary Santa take out his dad, step toward him, reach out, and grab a cookie on the plate behind him before going up the chimney. Yeah kid, I’m stunned too. Sure, this boy’s scarred for life, but maybe he’s a new prospective hunter. All hunters got into hunting somehow.

When talking to the emotional victim, Sam asks “Where did you get that wreath?” Oh Sam, I know it’s the link to the cases, but couldn’t there have been a better way to find out? He grabs his collar as both Dean and the woman stare at him in stone silence. “Just curious.” Ha! Back at the motel room, Sam delivers the message from Bobby. “Uh, we’re morons.” The anti-Claus thing is a stupid idea, and Bobby proves he’s really smart by identifying ingredient in those wreaths as meadowsweet, the most perfect plant in Pagan lore. Ooh, Pagans! I got a religious magazine in the mail once that gave exhaustive detail as to why we’re all Pagans for celebrating Easter. Apparently Pagans love all Christian holidays. Those with the wreaths are telling the Pagans to come eat them, and Pagan sacrifices are rewarded with mild weather. Very clever guys, but Ypsilanti still isn’t that green in December, even with mild weather.

It’s time for another shift in this perfectly plotted episode, and it’s hilarious. Sam and Dean enter a crafts store, and Dean again tries to humiliate his brother, this time pulling the gay card. His story involves Jenga at the Walsh’s. That image in my head is both funny and disturbing at the same time. Sam, on the spot but not missing a beat, describes the wreath in a deadpan tone, “it was yummy.” What’s even better is the clerk plays along, when Sam mentions the meadowsweet. “Well, aren’t you a fussy one.” We get the mother of all of Sam bitchfaces, while Dean laughs and agrees. This clerk is fantastic by the way, and I wonder if this actor does comedy a lot. He mentions that he sold all the wreaths, even though they were given to him for free, because “it’s Christmas, people pay a butt load for this crap”. “That’s the spirit,” Dean wittingly observes, and I’m dying. When Jensen and Jared are allowed to go all out, the results are always amazing.

But now the funny turns to sad. I feel like I’m watching short attention span theater. Sam and Dean enter the motel room and take their spots on the edge of the beds. The camera angle is different, for they’re shown from behind instead of in front. This experiment works, and the end result is nothing short of remarkable. Dean fondly remembers the beer can wreath that their dad found, and Sam doesn’t understand his sudden love for the holiday. Dean confesses his reason, it’s his last year. Sam’s face falls, and with sad music he admits in heartbreaking fashion he can’t pretend everything’s okay. The lines in this were good, but Jensen and Jared made it perfect. I feel as devastated as Sam (still sobbing!). I’ve gone from laughing hard to tearing up in two minutes. I love this show.

Speaking of tearing up, another flashback to 1991, and who as a kid wanted Funyuns for dinner? Lucky Sam. This time it’s young Sam’s turn to be emotionally heartbreaking. He’s found John’s journal, and knows everything. He finds out Santa isn’t real, and monsters are. That monsters got their mom. That monsters can get them. He cries himself to sleep, finding no solace in the fact that his older brother says their Dad is a superhero. This is how all the animosity began. Dad lied to him and Sam will never able to trust him again. It’s quite devastating to see young boys go through this, especially when Dean promised it would all be better, and we saw how empty that promise was.

Another shift to the lighter side again, for Sam and Dean approach a cozy Dutch Colonial, complete with Poinsettias, a sleigh, a snowman, a lighted train, a Santa, and strings of holly everywhere. It looks like a giant Christmas store threw up on the home (since its Michigan, I say Bronners). To the door comes Ozzie and Harriet; perky, sweet, overly charming, and a little too perfect. These actors are incredible, for they’ve sold me on the whole act. The Pagan vibe must have been there, because we learn nothing smells finer than meadowsweet (a couple of times), the wreaths are fine, and the holiday trimmings all over the house are a little too overdone. Edward, complete with cardigan and pipe, fits the stereotype of every 1950’s TV dad in America. They’re evil alright. Sam and Dean go back to the motel and sharpen wooden stakes.

Dean comments, “Are they hiding a Pagan God under their plastic covered couch” and next scene we find they actually have such a couch! Again with the little touches. Sam and Dean walk through the scattering of snow globes, Santa figurines, a giant gingerbread house, a perfectly trimmed real tree, a table full of holiday cookies, and oh, some carved up bodies in the basement. Yep, it’s a Pagan house.

Back to the horrifying, and this gets intense. Sam and Dean investigate the dark basement, finding blood and bones everywhere, an eye out of its socket, bloody saws and bone fragments, and Sam wincing in repulsion. Sam spots a blood spattered bag on a hook and cautiously approaches, then it jumps, forcing me to spill my beer everywhere. He’s grabbed by the neck and hoisted on one arm up the wall by none other than saccharine Mrs. Pagan God. Watching her easily handle someone as enormous as Sam was both really scary and very amusing. Mr. Pagan God takes out Dean easily, and they both give a happy smile after knocking Sam unconscious. I’m going to think twice about my perky neighbors.

Now we get to what I think is the most ingenious scene ever done on television. These four characters brightly deliver some of the best dialogue imaginable without missing a beat, combining hilarious lines with outright spine tingling torture courtesy of the most outlandish villains ever to be on this show.
Sam and Dean are tied to chairs, while the joyous Pagan couple, decked out in their loudest holiday garb, are virtually tap dancing over the fact they get to eat two more people this year. The feast can’t happen until rituals are followed, and it’s not pretty. Mrs. God even goes through the trouble of putting napkins on their laps for torture. Isn’t that thoughtful? The meadowsweet is hung around their necks, and I’m having trouble counting all the Sam bitchfaces.

Mr. God has a knife, and with delight slices Sam’s arm open, catching his blood in a bowl. Mrs. God does the same with Dean, and he responds to his pain by yelling “you bitch!” Mrs. God’s reaction is priceless, chastising his language by telling him he should put a nickel into the swear jar and use the word “fudge”, all while waving a very sharp knife at him (this might pinch a bit dear). Dean, while wrenching in pain, delivers THE best line of the series. “If you fudging touch me again I’ll fudging kill ya.” I have to pause the TiVo now, for I’m on the floor in laughter.

But wait, this show has a way of going from extreme laughs to jaw dropping horror with the snap of a finger. While carving up the boys, the Gods recount how they aren’t revered like they used to be and fell into suburban life. They “assimilated” (Star Trek reference!). Judging by the flashing lights on Mrs. God’s sweater, they’re not going out of their way to stay unnoticed. Mr. God joyfully grabs the rusty pliers next, and goes for Sam’s hand. Sam has the right for freak out, for in very graphic detail, his fingernail is ripped clean off! Wow, this is a Christmas episode? I don’t remember this happening on Rudolph. While Sam is writhing in agony, pliers go to Dean next, for they need a tooth. To further prove the incredible timing of this scene, the doorbell rings, and Dean insists to these polite killers they should get that, all while the pliers are still in his mouth.

At the door is a neighbor with an obnoxious reindeer sweatshirt and a fruitcake. Why don’t they want to eat her? After an extreme exchange of good neighbor holiday wishes, the Gods behind closed doors roll their eyes and step on the cake. Even Pagans hate fruitcake! Sam and Dean have escaped, and find their impromptu stakes by tearing apart the Christmas tree. Mrs. God is pretty pissed about that, for she loved that tree, and smacks Sam across the room. Sam gets up and lunges with stake, taking out Mrs. God with a chilling, ruthless kill, digging into her multiple times. Dean does the same to Mr. God, but his turn is a little quicker. In yet another perfect touch, the camera pans to the stake sticking out from Mr. God’s heart, and it has a big blue glass ornament on it. Even the weapons are decorated, just in case we forgot this is a holiday show.

But that isn’t even close to the end of it. It’s 1991 again, and it’s the tale of two Christmases, both evoking the same amount of tears. Young Dean lies and says their dad came back and brought presents and a tree. Young Sam opens them, and finds it’s a Barbie and baton. Seems that Dean stole the presents up the road and Daddy Winchester never showed. In both disappointment over his dad and appreciation for his brother, Sam gives Dean the gift he meant for John. He unwraps it, and its none other than the amulet that adult Dean is never seen without. It was a Christmas gift from Sam? Aww, how can I hold up from that?

Now the double whammy. The scene shifts from young Sam to adult Sam, same pensive look, and Dean walks through the door, camera focused on said amulet. Rosemary Clooney’s “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” plays in the background, and I’m emotionally wrecked before the scene plays out. Dean finds Sam has decorated for Christmas, complete with tree of air fresheners and fishing lures. Dean wonders why he finally changed his mind, but Sam can’t answer and serves him some heavily spiked eggnog instead. I read in an interview the eggnog actually had a crazy amount of rum in it, put there by Jared, so the choking reaction was genuine. They exchange the meager presents from the nearby gas mart, Sam getting porno magazines and shaving cream, and Dean getting motor oil and a candy bar. Both gaze at these items as if they’re the best gifts they’ve ever gotten. That’s the traditional “it’s the thought that counts” message all holiday specials have.

Many have speculated why Sam stopped himself after saying “Hey Dean” and suggested they watch the game instead. It’s the same reason why he couldn’t answer why he changed his mind. He wanted to tell him thanks for all he had done, for looking out for him all these years, for being there when no one else was. In the end, he didn’t need to say it, for being together was all Dean ever needed.

What’s a closing to a Christmas special without the sentimental holiday portrait? The camera pans to an outside window shot of Sam and Dean watching TV, the Thomas Kinkade mural in the background, and falling snow on the Impala, with colorful Christmas lights reflecting off its shiny body. Yep, the final emotional zinger that left us wrecked for the rest of the holiday and beyond.

Wow, I’m exhausted. What an impossible episode to recap, but a really great one to watch. My grade is an A+ easily. One of the best of the series. Speaking of best of the series, next week I’ll put out my best episodes list. After all, it’s Christmas!

I’m looking for some feedback from all of you that read my Supernatural blogs. As grateful as I am to blogcritics for providing me with a great forum to build my Supernatural blog, a few issues have arisen lately where I might have to look for a new home, or start my own blog. Before I even consider such a drastic move, I have a couple of questions I’m hoping as many of you as possible will answer. This will let me know if a change is necessary or not.

1) Many of my articles are in the 2500 to 2600 word range. Some have gone as high as 2800, as low as 2200. Is the length too long and too detailed? Are these articles hard to take in all at once? My Fresh Blood article is on hold now because they want me to cut it down over 600 words. The full article is posted below on this site. Does it seem too wordy?

2) When I post the articles, there is usually an average of a two day delay before they are published on blogcritics. A reason for this is a editor reads them first before posting, and changes made but they are usually minor grammar corrections. Does this time delay bother anyone? Has there been a Friday come along where you expect an article and get irritated that it doesn’t come along until Sunday? Chances are very few of you have noticed the difference, but I thought I would ask. The articles I post on this site are unedited, has anyone seen both and noticed a big difference?

3) If I publish on a site that allows me to insert screencaps from the episode within the text, does anyone think that would enhance the blog?

Thank you everyone for your support! This blog wouldn’t have come this far without you. I’ll keep everyone informed on what happens.

My deepest apologies for this being late. I had one of the worst hells imaginable, stuck with relatives on a long holiday weekend with no Internet access. Anyway, it will likely take blogcritics another day or two to post this one, so here it is for your previewing pleasure. Thanks for reading!

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Before I get started with this week’s recap, I want to send my thanks to all of you who read and sent comments regarding my little copout from last week for “Red Sky At Morning”. The feedback was fantastic and it seems many of you agreed with my choices for worst episodes. The best episodes list will be coming in a few weeks, and I’m sure I’ll get far more disagreement on that one.

Anyway, “Fresh Blood” holds a special place for me, since it’s the very first Supernatural episode I saw live. As I’ve mentioned before, I spent most of October and November catching up on season one, season two, and the first six episodes of season three. As a matter of fact, the hubby and I watched “Red Sky At Morning” on the TiVo that night before taking on “Fresh Blood”, holding up our arms in triumph that we finally reached the pinnacle.

Considering I had taken on season three in one week, there was something about this episode I noticed right away, and the rest of the season confirmed that feeling. This was when season three kicked into high gear, and began to reach levels of season two, even sometimes exceeding them. Not that what I had seen up to this point was bad, but here it went from good to really great. Of course, my husband will be the first to disagree with me, but that’s because he hates Gordon.

This is the third time a Sera Gamble script connected with Kim Manners’ direction, and the results again were remarkable. It’s a great combination because Sera tends to write powerful emotional scenes, and Kim knows how to bring out the greatest impact from those scenes. Of course it helps to have great actors like Jared and Jensen in your corner, but that observation treads on stating the obvious. I’m sure no one minds though.

Even the first scene, a Bela sighting, didn’t bother me. She was actually good with Gordon. Her presence was minimal, and minimal is always a bonus. She even gets to deliver a great line about hearing Sam was the Anti-Christ from the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, and then appropriately asks, “Are you off your meds?” Sharp dialogue so early makes me happy.

My feelings of happiness continue as we next get some classic, badass Dean. Sure he was cutting it a little close, but it was awesome. “Come on. I smell good. I taste even better.” I’m sure you do! How many of us were insanely jealous of Mercedes McNabb at that point? I shake my mind out of the gutter, and move on.

We go to this week’s motel room, and décor can’t be critiqued, since the mattresses up against the windows had me instead wondering if Sam and Dean flipped a coin over who got to sleep in the back seat of the Impala. When I open my Vampire motel, I’ll know how to decorate now. “Lucy the Vampire Girl” was slipped some tainted blood at a club, and wants to come down now. Uh, judging by that machete in Dean’s hand, I’m thinking she should be careful what she wishes for. This scene marked the return of sympathetic Sam, something that proved to be a rarity in season three. I was surprised when he flinched over Dean doing the decapitation. Just wait Sam. You’ll get to one-up him in the biggest way.

It’s Kubrick! Our favorite Jesus freak hunter from “Bad Day At Black Rock”. I loved the idea of an overly religious hunter, but when I first saw him with Gordon, I didn’t give him big odds of surviving this episode. Doesn’t the sidekick usually die in these scenarios? They’re doing the FBI thing. Do all hunters do that so well? At least Sam and Dean look far better in suits. A great job by the way from Sterling K. Brown over keeping a dead serious face when he told the guy they might have had to kill him. I wonder if there is some sort of blooper reel of him cracking up over that. They figure out that Sam and Dean were involved, all because of the crack description the man gives, one of the guys is “real tall”. Oh, you could have done better than that. How about tall, flowing locks of long pretty hair, knock ‘em dead gorgeous eyes, built like a Mack truck, etc?

“Tall” worked though, for we cut to Sam and Dean, saving another victim from evil Vampire. Who’s really hot. A chase ensues and then I scream in delight by the “Oh shit” look on Sam and Dean’s faces when they round the corner just in time to see Gordon and Kubrick emerge from the dark with guns held high. That’s the one and only shot that Supernatural gets on this summer’s CW promo touting their “all teen except for three of our most popular shows and Sunday night” network. I suppose if there was only to be one clip that was a great one. Not that it makes me feel better.

Somehow, even with bullets flying, cars suddenly appear and Sam and Dean have something to duck behind, unscathed. What’s even stranger is Dean jumps over the wall to throw them off, and Kubrick goes after him. Isn’t the objective to kill Sam? Why would they care if Dean got away? Gordon is denied his chance to kill the Antichrist Winchester by super sexy Vampire, who probably had to avoid peeing on himself in excitement over finally capturing the one man who takes the most responsibility for killing his kind. I guess Sam isn’t the real threat here, right Gordo?

Here’s an original scene, Sam’s angsting while Dean is cracking jokes. Despite the fact that’s done a lot, it never gets old. Ah, but Dean goes from joker to badass in a fraction of a second, and this was when I really, really wished a look could kill over the phone. They could have written that in. Stranger things have happened in this show. “Listen to my voice and tell me if I’m serious.” I believe you Dean! Oh well, a freaked out Bela was good too.

Oh Gordon, calling vampires bloodthirsty animals? People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Interesting to see how the strategy of rudely insulting the guy who has you chained to a bed backfired. Didn’t see that one coming. Oh, I get it, reverse psychology. You just wanted to be vampire didn’t you?

Next comes the one part of this episode that bothers me. Dean and Sam are holed up the motel room, with the mattresses still in place. They must have loved the ambience. I’m not sure why Dean called out Sam on the “killing humans is wrong” stuff. Didn’t he get over that three episodes ago? Bela calls with information to help out so Dean won’t kill her, and delivers the obvious message that Gordon is dangerous. First, why would Bela feel threatened by Dean? She had nothing to gain by helping him, which was completely out of her bad character. Also, by season’s end, that whole contacting the spirits from beyond nonsense went nowhere, didn’t it? I dismiss those thoughts though, since Bela never really deserved my time.

Uh oh, Gordon’s a dangerous vampire now. Not a smart move, was it sexy Vampire? Now he’s more powerful than ever, and oh, he still kills innocent people. I guess some things never change. So, Gordon hunts vampires for years and then becomes one. What would Sam and Dean’s ‘just desserts’ be then? Becoming demons? Dean’s halfway there (still sobbing!), and Sam, well, having demon blood qualifies. They don’t go around eating people changing tires though. Gordon needs to learn a thing or two from the Winchesters.

Now sexy collides, and it’s all good. Dixon manages to hit home with Dean. “You ever felt desperate? I’ve lost everyone I ever loved. I’m staring down eternity alone. Can you think of a worse hell?” Dean’s response is quite interesting. “Well, there’s hell.” I didn’t get why he would say in a joking way until seeing the upcoming scene with Sam. This is the way he acts when he’s scared. Dixon then asks, “Do you know it’s like when you just don’t give a damn? It’s like… it’s like being dead already.” With that seed planted, that comment ends up taking us all the way to “Dream A Little Dream Of Me.” Why it took Dean that long to give a damn about dying was beyond me, but it made for some great drama in the process. Sam or Dean weren’t shown killing Dixon, so can he pretty please come back? He can turn into a good vampire like what’s his name on Moonlight.

So why didn’t Kubrick agree to Gordon’s plan and kill him after they got Sam? He could have saved his own life that way. He didn’t turn out to be all that smart, did he? Even his Jesus couldn’t save him from that error in judgment. Another dead hunter. This show loves to rack ‘em up!

All of that was just filler though. There were two scenes that blew me away in this episode, and this was one of them. Before I rave about the scene though, I must comment as a tech person that the whole idea of destroying the cell phones to avoid being traced was ridiculous. It’s called “removing the battery.” I digress though, and will accept the totally asinine technical aspects for sake of good drama. No, I take that back, I won’t. Please show, if you need an experienced technical consultant, just email me. I’m cheap.

This scene is where I came to the realization how far Jared has come as an actor since the pilot, especially since the other 50 episodes were still fresh in my mind. Teary and puppy dog eyes win every time, and by now he has it down to a perfect science. Sam has had enough of Dean’s act. Geez Sam, took you long enough! All his frustration over the last six episodes, the intense discussions in the Impala, the frustration over coming up empty in his research, the burden that he took upon himself that he clearly wasn’t ready for, it all collided here. He’s tired and just wants things back the way they were.

It’s interesting, how Sam since last season’s finale wanted to be the one to protect Dean, accepting the role reversal and protecting big brother for a change. After all, he had a great example to learn from and he owed it to him. It’s here we see how taking on this responsibility has ruined his confidence and he’s not handling the burden well. So many things about this scene poked a hole in my heart, mostly because of the outstanding dialogue (what rhymes with ‘shut up Sam’) but this line did it. “Yeah, I’ve been following you around my entire life! I mean, I’ve been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better than anyone else in the entire world. And this is exactly how you act when you’re terrified. And, I mean, I can’t blame you. It’s just… I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. ‘Cause… just ‘cause.” It was at this moment I wanted to rush in, brush Dean aside and give the lost puppy at big hug.

Dean concedes, because who can deny a needy baby brother, and they sit and wait together, the way things should be. Dean gets the call from Gordo, and they’re off to the warehouse to save some damsel in distress, even though the word “trap” is flashing in bright neon letters on the screen. Or maybe my mind put it there. They find the girl, and the door coming down separating Sam and Dean was predictable, borderline contrived, but it was still cool.

We are then treated to a breath taking scene as the lights go out on poor Sammy, and Gordon’s nocturnal eyes of death stalk him perfectly. The thick tension from the scene forced me to bite my nails to nothing. Ah yes, Kim Manners. Even in infrared, Sam looked really hot swinging a knife at nothing in the dark. After exchanging some of the usual “villain taunts the potential victim” dialogue, Gordon accuses Sam of not being human, and Sam responds by “look who’s talking.” That was a big “whoa” moment for me. Sam doesn’t disagree, or deny the accusation. Sam isn’t sure he’s human either. So what does Sam exactly think he is? It’s perplexing to think what’s going through Sam’s mind. Right now, I’m sure its “don’t get killed”.

Time for the next “blow me away” scene. The victim that Dean saved was turned by Gordon, and Dean has to blow her away with the colt. Gordon tries to relate to Sam, telling him he knows what it’s like to have something evil inside of him, just before attacking him. So much for bonding. They crash through a wall and fight, and then Dean emerges after Gordon overpowers Sam. Gordon responds by sinking his teeth into Dean’s luscious neck, which really pisses off Sam. Two pieces of cloth and conveniently placed razor wire later Gordo is in trouble, as in a long, slow decapitation trouble. I found this kill to be the most disturbing one in the entire series. Long, slow, bloody, and cold. Sam turns into something unrecognizable, even making a badass like Dean seem like a harmless bunny. The look on his face as he gruesomely delivered Gordon’s death sentence was unnerving to see considering he’s supposedly the gentle natured one. At that moment, he was lost in the kill. Talk about wanting to be like your big brother!

I absolutely loved Sam’s horrified expression once Gordon’s head was off, after he realized what he had done. At that moment he believed Gordon was right, he was a monster. Dean, who was obviously disturbed by what happened also, accused Sam of being reckless. Sam should have thrown in a “just like my big brother” line, but he still looked pretty shaken so I’ll cut him some slack. Anyone else notice the “183 days” sign behind Dean? I suspected that told us how many days Dean had left, and by the end of the season, we knew the timeline fit.

Oh, but there’s more! Just in case we haven’t been taxed enough emotionally, the show felt it had to go that extra mile. Dean takes what Sam said to heart and finally decides to act like a big brother. What a better way to show brotherly love that to teach him how to fix the Impala. Even Sam loves the fact that they get to play “auto shop”. “Put your shoulder into it.” The ending shot is perfect, Sam under the hood, Dean sitting on the cooler having a beer, and the Impala shining in all its magnificent glory. All is right with the world again for at least that one moment. I’m all misty, but it’s more because I pictured the Impala without Dean. It’s bittersweet.

Next week is exciting for me, for I get to review one of my absolute favorite episodes of the entire series. “A Very Supernatural Christmas” is one I never get tired of watching repeatedly and can recite line by line. It’s the anti-Christmas, and it’s all good.

I tried. I even forced myself to watch “Red Sky At Morning” again, hoping to find someway to do a review that didn’t sound like an insensitive berating of what is clearly the one off episode of the season that every show is allowed. Even Eric Kripke himself admitted that this was not a good one, so for me to give a detailed criticism of something that is already known to be bad would be the equivalent of doing a restaurant review on McDonalds. Pointless.

My mind instead got distracted by a nagging question during a mood of reflection (really, it was an intentional diversion from another boring day at work), just how bad was this episode? Did it compare with the truly stinky from the other seasons? When I look at this episode in that light, turns out, it wasn’t the worst. It was the best of the worst. So, I present the top five worst episodes ever of Supernatural, from bad to just plain awful.

5 - “Red Sky At Morning”, Season three.

Why is this one so bad? Bela. Need I say more? Any episode that gives her just as much screen time as the Winchesters screams a network ploy that once again proves The CW has no clue who’s actually watching this show. The ghost ship story was ludicrous, and considering the culprits of the murders were only shown briefly in the final confrontation, we didn’t get into what was happening. Not that it mattered, because they sucked and their little fight was way too anticlimactic.

Sure, there’s the often used device of the invisible villain, whose lack of presence is supposed to be scarier (re: Keyser Soze), but a ghost ship? People see a ghost clipper ship and then start drowning where there’s no water? Yeah, I’m quaking. Oh, and these people just happened to have killed a family member. How many people in Massachusetts see a ghost ship and happened to fit that criteria? Apparently more than we’d ever believe.

The premise of Sam being stuck with a horny elderly woman while Bela and Dean have their fun scheming to steal the hand (????) might have been acceptable on paper, but this failed in so many ways. I take that back, it doesn’t even look good on paper. What Sam experienced was more uncomfortable than funny, and Bela and Dean had no chemistry. This actually is a repeating theme in most of these bad episodes, “Sam or Dean” and “no chemistry with female hookup”. They can’t do better than each other, so why try? (slashers, keep your minds clean).

Redeemable moment: The first scene in the Impala, and the last one. The fights between the brothers continue, and what is said adds to the drama that has been building with these scenes ever since “Bad Day At Black Rock”. I especially loved the first scene, where Dean confronts Sam about killing the Crossroads Demon. “She was a smartass.” Yes she was, and that’s one of the few good lines of this entire script. The other; when Bela says, “When this is over, we should have angry sex.” Dean’s reply, “Don’t objectify me.” As much as I loathe Bela, that was funny.

The big winner though was the brothers in tuxes. That alone bumped this episode to the top (or bottom, I’m not sure which) of the list.

4 – “No Exit”, Season two.

Why is this one so bad? For one, there was hardly any Sam in it. I read somewhere that was because Jared Padalecki was having surgery done to repair the broken wrist he sustained in filming “Bloodlust” (yes, it was broken without a cast in “Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things”, but he actually broke it before that). Let’s see, no Sam, so ooh, ooh, just replace him with Jo Harvelle! After all, her and Dean have great chemistry, and are so hot together. Um, considering Jo didn’t make an appearance in the series again after “Born Under A Bad Sign”, I think we all saw the flaw in that logic.

To fault the lengthy screen time of Jo though wouldn’t be fair, since that wasn’t what sunk this episode. Kim Manners was even the director, so we know whatever went wrong didn’t come from there either. He did the best with the crap he was given. The true culprit was a sluggish story with weak dialogue, especially between Jo and Dean, and the fact that I was more scared by Ellen Harvelle in the end than the so called ghost serial killer. The parallel of Jo being bait like what happened with her father and Daddy Winchester years ago harped on an arc that was never compelling to begin with. That story only ended up being satisfying in “Born Under A Bad Sign”, and only because evil!Sam recounting the truth was too damn hot.

Redeemable moment: The frosty and uncomfortable scene in the Impala on the ride back to the roadhouse. Dean and Ellen are in the front seat, and Dean is scared. Dean goes to turn on the radio to break the mood, and on comes Foreigner’s “Cold As Ice”. That’s perfect comedic timing! Too bad it was the only entertaining part of the episode.

3 – “Hookman”, Season one

Why is this one so bad? This is one of those urban legends that I’m sure looked great on paper, and I read how much Kripke loved this legend. The trouble was, Hookman was never scary. The directing was terrible as there was nothing done to build the tension, suspense, or drama. The episode was choppy and didn’t flow well. The scenes were reminiscent of some really bad slasher films. Too bad, because the writing wasn’t half bad on this one.

Aside from the poor directing, the acting sunk this one too. The actress playing Lori wasn’t very good, and she and Sam had zero chemistry. The fact that Sam would take interest in a girl like this so quickly after losing Jessica wasn’t believable to me, and I don’t think Jared was sold on the idea either. He seemed uncomfortable most of the episode. As much as I adore Jared, he was still trying to find his footing with the character of Sam in these early episodes and hadn’t quite found it by this one. He struggled quite a bit with the scenes that didn’t involve Dean. The other actors, including Lori’s dad and roommate, well, I was rooting for Hookman against them.

Redeemable moment: Dean. This was one of his better episodes, but that wasn’t surprising since from the word go Jensen found his place in this series. Dean was loose, funny, bad ass, and he should have tried for Lori instead. Wouldn’t it have been great, him coming back to Sam later, bragging about nailing the preacher’s daughter? Isn’t there a Lynrd Sknyrd song about that? This episode also introduced rock salt as a weapon against demons, which has proven to be very useful, and a great bit of folklore that has defined this show.

2 – “Route 666” - Season one

Why is this one so bad? Two words. Racist truck. Does anything more need to be said?

Actually, almost the entire episode was a hot mess. The story sucked, the characters sucked, the heavy handed themes on racism were contrived (and sucked), and Dean was paired with an ex-girlfriend that was annoying, whiny, and a really bad actress. She and Dean should have never shared the same planet, let alone a bed. While many fans girls I’m sure squealed when they heard Jensen was getting a sex scene, the end result was two of the most uncomfortable minutes I’ve ever seen on film. It was like two hens pecking at each other. We’re still waiting for redemption, for Dean deserves a steamy love scene with a hot female character like what Sam had in “Heart”. I say bring back Lisa, and let the sparks fly!

Also, since when is Cape Girardeau, Missouri a sea side town? Those weren’t riverboats at that marina.

In my opinion, this was the worst written episode of the entire series. How this really bad episode got stuck in between season one classics “Faith” and “Nightmare” is beyond me. Another thing beyond me, this episode is actually the highest rated one in Supernatural history. I heard it was because the State of the Union was on and The WB was the only station showing original programming. Watching this must have definitely been pure desperation.

Redeemable moment: This final chase scene, where Dean in the Impala is being chased by the ghost truck (that still sounds so wrong). That scene was actually interesting. Sam calls him on the phone, only to get “I’m in the middle of nowhere with a killer truck on my ass!” I need to work that line into regular conversation at work, just to throw people off. Sam guides Dean to an area and has him stop. The Impala and truck showdown, the truck charges, and then disappears into thin air just before it makes contact. Cool! What was even better was when Dean asked Sam what had happened. Dean: What if you were wrong? Sam: Huh. Honestly, that thought hadn’t occurred to me. Dean slams the phone in disgust, muttering how he’s gonna kill Sam. Bwah!

There was another classic quote in here, and it’s actually from Sam. “I miss conversations that didn’t start with ‘this killer truck’.” You and me both pal.

1 – “Bugs” - Season one

Why is this one so bad? Actually, it’s a virtual toss-up between this and “Route 666”. Each day I keep changing the order, but I ruled this as number one because the other’s redeemable moment was much longer.

This was an episode that was loaded with great intentions. I even understood the mentality, go for something in the spirit of The Birds, but use bugs instead.
Unfortunately, everything went wrong, and this one goes down as one of the sorriest episodes I’ve ever seen in television. Where do I begin? For one, the bugs looked fake. That’s because they were. After filming, they discovered the bugs didn’t show up on film and had to CGI them.

If that was the only problem, I would have excused it. After all, working with the bugs ended up making some great interview stories. The pacing of the story was way off, and that’s assuming there was pacing. The climactic bug showdown was pretty short considering they were supposed to be pulling an all-nighter. They didn’t do any sort of editing that showed breaks in the action, so six or seven hours was literately five minutes. The scene with the wise old Indian and his terrible story of tragedy against his people felt like it was chucked in there at the last minute, and didn’t add much to the story. They could have found out about the burial ground at the library.

Sadly, the acting again failed to deliver. The teenage bug kid wasn’t great casting, but what was even worse was the terrible parallel between that boy’s estrangement with his father and Sam’s. Their situations weren’t remotely in the same league, let alone the same ballpark. It was an awful way to force some backstory on us about Sam and John’s fight. Again, as with “Hookman”, Jared didn’t sell it. I didn’t believe his anger or pain toward Daddy Winchester, and I didn’t believe that he related to this kid, or honestly cared. My only comfort was that Jared’s acting began to improve immediately after this episode in “Home” and continued to steadily get better until he reached Jensen’s level with “Born Under A Bad Sign”.

Redeemable moment: Dean in the steam shower. That’s pretty much it, and it was way too short.

Honorable Mention – aka bad, but not bad enough – “Playthings”, season two

This one had many great elements. Gay jokes, creepy dolls, hoodoo curses, poking grandma with a stick, Sam all wet in a pool and my absolute favorite, drunk Sam. Also, the story was pretty good. Still, something didn’t sit quite right with me about this one. I thought it was my mood, but in two more re-watches I still didn’t like it.

I didn’t like the mother, for she didn’t connect with either of the boys. I didn’t care if the guests got killed. Dean’s conversation with the old man seemed forced, actually Dean’s interest in this entire job seemed forced. This episode featured easily the worst motel room of the series. A wedding dress on the wall in the stately hotel room? They would actually give that room to a pair of hot looking men? Uh, no. The little girl Maggie wasn’t creepy enough, and I didn’t realize how much so until seeing Katie in “The Kids Are Alright”. Sam was whiny the entire episode, especially with the whole “you promised you’d kill me” thing (although no one has ever looked sexier praying to the porcelain God). I think in the end though, I don’t like dolls.

So, did anyone notice anything common about these episodes? First, let me list the writers. Rachel Nave, Bill Coakley, John Shiban, Eugenie Ross-Leming, Brad Buckner, Matt Witten, and Laurence Andries. With the exception of John Shiban, none of these writers went onto to great Supernatural writing success. Second, as mentioned before, bad hookups for Sam and Dean. Female characters have always been a problem, but they REALLY become a problem in weak episodes.

Three of the episodes featured directors that never came back to the show, and with good reason. Also, the top three episodes on this list were from early season one, in which even Kim Manners admitted it took them half a season to find their groove. Luckily those of you watching the show from the beginning were patient and rewarded with the great second half of that season.

Considering these were also the five episodes Eric Kripke listed as his least favorite, I’m sure I’m not going to get a lot of argument about this list. Is there another one that should have been here? The only other one I can think of that fans might not have liked is “Ghostfacers”, but that was a loved it or hated it one, and I’m in the “loved it” category. If anyone has another episode they want to share, or want to present their list, opinions are welcome! I’m just one crackpot reviewer.

Next week, “Fresh Blood”, aka “when season three found its groove.” Expect something gushing and long.